BY LINDA SMITH HANCHARICK
HEWITT — Everything changed last July for Carol Cooper.
Her bright, handsome, kind son, Brian Dursun, died alone in his Clark apartment from a drug overdose. He was just 32 years old.
Dursun was Cooper’s only child.
“I wanted to lay down and die when Brian died,” said Cooper, a 12-year resident of Awosting.
But she didn’t.
Instead, she did exactly the opposite. Cooper has made it her mission in life to help those struggling with addiction by raising money for programs, and making stuff bears for comfort and courage.
Carol and BrianCooper was a single mother, raising Brian in Union and Livingston. She moved to Awosting when her son went off to college at Monmouth University. There was always a special connection between the two of them. Cooper said her son suffered from ADHD and separation anxiety disorder from an early age.
“He always worried about me and where I was,” she recalled.
As a young kid, Brian was bullied. He stood out, in part, because he was heavy. In high school, that changed when a football coach took a liking to Brian. Over time, he lost 150 pounds and became part of the team.
But his insecurities didn’t disappear. And his addictive nature remained — whether it was to food, alcohol in college, dieting — his mom said.
“He was always looking for ways to calm himself down,” Cooper said.
Brian was a financial analyst, and he was good at what he did. He loved clothes - “he had tons,” Cooper said - and his red Mustang.
The economic downturn caused him to lose his job which added much stress to his life, Cooper said.
He started taking Ambien to sleep and Adderol. But Cooper said she never saw any signs that he was doing other drugs.
When he died on July 15, he hadn’t slept in three days. Cooper hadn’t heard from him that day. Her brother knocked on his apartment door but got no answer. She called the super who went into his apartment at 11 p.m. and found him on the floor of his bathroom.
“He died alone on the floor of his bathroom,” said Cooper. “He was tortured inside.”
Nearby, were glassine envelopes. He had died from a combination of heroin and fentanyl, a powerful synthetic opioid.
A Life For BrianAfter his funeral, Cooper had two choices. She could live out her days in sorrow or she could bring light to others. She chose the later.
Her son had inspired her years ago to became a special education teacher. She began making bears, also inspired by her son, for the kids in order to give them self esteem. “Ready, Set, Go” was the theme. The bears were super heroes, just like the kids.
Now, she has changed that a bit. She continues to make the bears but now they are geared toward encouraging those with addiction and their families to stay strong. “A Life for Brian” is the foundation name. And Cooper is determined to make sure that her son was not lost in vain.
Cooper’s missionNow on weekends, you can find Cooper set up outside of big box stores, telling her story and selling her bears.
She has partnered with the Hansen Foundation, whose mission is to raise and distribute funds to specifically address substance abuses treatment and provide affordable sober-living housing. In the future, she said, she may partner with others as well.
Shop Til You DropOn April 8, Cooper is hosting a “Shop Til You Drop” event at the West Milford Presbyterian Church from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Twenty-five vendors will set up at the event selling everything from jewelry to energy products to inspirational items and pet care. They will each donate a product that will be used as prizes. Cooper will be set up in the hallway with her bears and her information, spreading her message of hope. All of the money raised at the event will go to the Hansen Foundation.
Cooper will also be present at the Elks’ Walk Out On Drugs event, set for Sunday, April 30, and is planning a tricky tray in October.
An inspirationCooper’s hope is to inspire those who are struggling with addiction. And their parents.
“They think they can’t take another breath and they look at me and see what I’ve done in seven months,” said Cooper. “I want to be an inspiration to people. It’s all about helping people.”
And Brian is always in her heart.
“He was an extraordinary person. He loved everyone and would help anyone,” she said. “Everybody loved Brian. I feel Brian is very proud of me.”
To learn more about A Life For Brian, go to www.ALifeForBrian.com.