“Funerals enable us to recognize a life that was lived and also acknowledge that this life has come to an end.” - Stickle-Soltesz Funeral Home For those who have lost loved ones, that one sentence sums up the funeral tradition quite well. Usually at the time of loss we need an experienced hand to help plan the final arrangements. That’s where Joyce and Todd Soltesz, owners of Stickle-Soltesz Funeral Home in West Milford, come in. Joyce, 45, and Todd, 50, purchased Stickle Funeral Home in 2009. Since it was an established West Milford business for over 50 years, the couple opted to keep the Stickle name intact, as well as adding their own. Joyce is the manager and Todd is the funeral director. Both have years of experience and, for that matter, they would not be a couple if not for their earlier years in the funeral business. Born in Plainview, Long Island and raised in the Bronx, Joyce attended St. John’s University and the McAllister Institute of Mortuary Science, both in New York. While in school she worked as a receptionist at a funeral home in the city where Todd also worked. He was already a licensed funeral director in New Jersey and was doing his residency to obtain his New York certificate. While maybe not the most romantic setting to meet your future spouse, it worked for this couple and they are now married for 22 years and the parents of two teenagers, Jaclyn and Nicholas. Todd was born in Trenton and grew up in Roebling. As a teenager he worked in a funeral home, cutting grass and tending the door and he knew what his future would be. After high school he attended Trenton State College then Mercer County College where he received his funeral directing certificate. Both Joyce and Todd are licensed funeral directors in New York and New Jersey. The required study to obtain a license is comprehensive: anatomy, physiology, microbiology, chemistry, clinical embalming and cosmetology, psychology and funeral law, to name a few. “Joyce and I are both well rounded. We do everything, the preparation, make arrangements, all the details,” Todd said. The funeral service business is a 24/7 commitment and they are always available when a family calls. They are joint owners and each has certain responsibilities. By its very nature, the business is stressful, so how do they handle it? “We try to be ourselves, we try to maintain a calm feeling, be a part of the family, understand their needs. You don’t understand how the bereaved feel until you have been bereaved yourself,” Joyce said. They look to each family to express their desires and strive to fulfill each one. “A funeral director has to be one you trust to care about your most valuable possession. Our family is serving your family and we take pride and care in doing that,” Todd said. Joyce spoke of the emotional end of it. After spending almost a week with the family it’s difficult to pull away. “You’ve sat with them, were with them when they were seeing the person for the first time, and seeing them for the last time. You stand next to them and you put your emotions with them,” she said. Stickle-Soltesz provides a full range of funeral services, designed to meet varying needs. They offer pre-planning, traditional funeral, graveside, cremation and memorial services. They are open to the family’s wishes, such as photo displays or video presentations. They carry a line of memorial items and can assist with the purchase of a monument. The couple live and work together, which is not for everyone Joyce concedes, but they don’t find it stressful. They don’t get much time off, but when they do it’s destination sandy beach for them for rest and relaxation. They try to have dinner with the kids each night, considering meal time together important catch-up time and, understandably, they sometimes have to catch up for two days. The couple submitted a favorite taco dip recipe. Tex-Mex Dip 2 cans jalapeno dip as a #1 layer Mix together 3 medium avocadoes, peeled, seeded and mashed 2 tbsp. lemon juice Layer on top of #1 Mix together 1 cup sour cream 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1 pkg. Taco seasoning mix (mild, medium, hot - your preference) Layer on top of #2 Large bunch of scallions, chopped Layer on top of #3 3 tomatoes, seeded and chopped Layer on top of #4 1 can black olives, chopped Layer on top of #5 Sprinkle shredded cheddar cheese on top Place taco chips around tray for dipping or put in separate bowl