The impact of Jesse's Journey

WEST MILFORD — Six hundred high school kids in one room and you could hear a pin drop. That was the case on Tuesday morning at West Milford High School when Maureen, Tyler John and Jesse Morella presented "Jesse's Journey" to the entire student body in two assemblies.

"What you will hear today is about the importance of every single decision you make," said principal Paul Gorski, before he introduced the second session of the Morellas's presentation. The choices they make, he said, will either put them on the path to realizing all their hopes and dreams or not. "They're not just your choices," he added. "The choices you make change the lives of your family and friends. What you see this morning is meant to make you think, think before you make those choices."

A brother's loss
Tyler John Morella turned 23 on Tuesday, but like many other days over the past eight years, he chose to speak to hundreds of kids about his big brother, Jesse. As many younger brothers do, Tyler John idolized his brother. But Jesse made a choice eight years ago, when he was 16 years old and a junior in high school, that forever changed his life and the lives of his family members and close friends. Tyler John talked about that night in November, 2004 when Jesse almost lost his life after snorting a line of heroin. Jesse was in a coma for 10 days and, when he emerged, life for the Morellas would never be the same.

"I lost a part of me that day with my brother," said Tyler John. "I don't think I'll ever get it back."

Jesse Morella had vomited and aspirated, depriving his brain of oxygen for over 30 minutes. Through therapy and round-the-clock care, he has made a miraculous recovery. But he still needs constant care. He understands everything but he cannot speak or swallow. He is fed through a tube and needs help to walk. He communicates using a letter board. His dreams of being a school teacher would not be realized.

Tyler John talks to kids about why they party. He told the West Milford High School students that many kids look at drinking alcohol and using drugs as a right of passage. But he knows better.

"Getting good grades is a right of passage. Getting into college is a right passage," said Tyler John. Partying is not.

"My brother should have gotten married and I would have been the best man," he continued. "That's a right of passage, not drugs and alcohol."

Instead, he told the students to find what they do best and embrace it. Find their self esteem through their talents.

"All I need is my snowboard. That's my high," said the tall Marine who is also a college student.

Tyler John knew his brother was smoking pot on occasion. His advice: "It's okay to be a snitch. It's okay to tell someone."

A mother's plea
Maureen Morella pulled no punches with the students. She didn't use a microphone; her voice filled the auditorium with no help. She echoed Tyler John's sentiments about taking their talents and embracing them. Jesse, she said, was a gifted poet and writer, but at 6 feet 3 inches tall, he wasn't happy about his body. He wanted to be a jock, to be part of the cool group of kids at his Pequannock High School. So he pulled away from the good group of friends Maureen knew and went toward older kids she didn't know. Jesse was a good kid at school. He was never under suspicion, by anyone, for using drugs.

"You guys are great at getting over on your parents, teachers, people in authority," she said. "But Jesse didn't get over on Jesse."

She cautioned the students about drinking and doing drugs. Even one time. And on choosing friends.

"There is no time or place when the decision to do drugs and alcohol is the right one," said Maureen Morella, who has seen hundreds of kids permanently affected by drugs and alcohol. Many, she said, are in facilities because their families are unable to provide the care needed.

"The next decision you make may be the last decision you make," said Maureen Morella. "Consequences are forever."

Although Jesse made the decision to snort heroin, Maureen Morella said more kids will be affected by alcohol than all drugs combined.

"We will lose more of you to alcohol than all the drugs combined," she said.

The goal of Jesse's Journey, she said, is to give the kids another tool in their arsenal, a way to say absolutely not when it comes to partying.

Afterwards, kids came up to meet the Morellas. They hugged Jesse and gave him high fives for his strength and for allowing his story to be told.

"That basically changed my life," said student Taylor DeBlock, holding back tears. "There’s nothing worse than that."

"That was a very impactful message," said Keith Meola. "The visual part really helps us to understand the effect it had on Jesse and his family. It was a great message. It must be very hard for the Morella family to stand up there and present it. Hopefully it helps kids make better decisions."

The Morellas were scheduled to make a presentation to parents in the community on Thursday night at the high school auditorium at 7:30 p.m.

Students are encouraged to share their thoughts about the presentation with their parents and school staff. Parents and students are invited to send comments directly to the Morella family at jessesjourney@optonline.net.

We would also like your thoughts on the Morellas' presentation and message. Go to westmilfordmessenger.com and tell us what you thought about Jesse's Journey.