"The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches but to reveal to him his own.” Benjamin Disraeli
Bobbie Del Sol, public health nursing supervisor, West Milford Township
When Bobbie Del Sol was asked what was the most significant blessing in her life and to name the “do-gooder” she went right to the top.
“God,” she said, without hesitation.
“I think the greatest deed that someone’s done for me was having my grandmother in my life. God probably picked her out to keep me on the straight and narrow.”
Del Sol, of Puerto Rican descent, lived with her mother and grandmother after her parents’s divorce. She credits both women with teaching her the importance of family, respect and faith.
Raised in the Marlboro Projects in Brooklyn, N.Y., Del Sol looks back at the lessons learned at her grandmother’s knee, those that propelled her into the future and the successful career and family life she enjoys today.
Her grandmother, or “abuela,” taught her to speak Spanish, to embrace her culture and how to have fun without having much. There was lots of music and dancing in their home.
With some public assistance, and much grandmotherly encouragement to become a nurse, Del Sol went to Adelphi College on Long Island. Years later, with the knowledge of the language and culture deeply embedded, Del Sol was invited on a trip to Cuba with a group from Ramapo College to study health and cultural issues on the island. Her empathy and ability to communicate played a role in the success of her journey.
“Not bad for a kid from the projects,” she said.
Del Sol believes her abuela is proudly watching over her and she frequently thanks her in prayer.
“In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy.” – Karl Reiland
Pat Mattera, dental hygienist
Pat Mattera was just 10-years old when she first sprang into action. When her classmate’s house burned down, she saw a need.
“I talked to my dad, we had to do something,” Mattera said.
With the help of neighbors, her father, in the construction business, brought in sub-contractors and rehabbed a house that had been given to their church. With the addition of donated housewares and clothing, the family had a place to call home again.
That good deed still makes her feel good, although being reminded that it was 50 years ago made her go silent for a second. But then she laughed, as Mattera often does, a woman rarely seen without a smile.
She described her parents as always ready to help. The adage, “As the twig is bent so grows the tree” seems to hold true for Mattera, and now for her family. The Matteras have been active in their children’s schools, their church, scouting and PAL programs.
While in high school Mattera became involved in the “Paterson Project,” an academic outreach program. Working with children on Saturday mornings, she’d play basketball with them, listen to their concerns and help with their homework. A gratifying experience in her formative years, it apparently whet her appetite to do more.
As a young woman at Ferris State University in Michigan studying to be a dental assistant, Mattera voluntarily taught oral hygiene and nutrition on a Native American reservation, a place where some children used slashed branches to brush their teeth.
“They had their own little city but they were very isolated from the world. You had to win over the elders, some rather imposing, but as they watched us interact with their children their hearts softened,” she said.
Mattera still takes her teaching show on the road, now in places like Paterson and Totowa. Riding in a Colgate mobile van, volunteers perform dental screenings and disperse free dental products.
“Doing a good deed gives you such a warm feeling,” she said. “I live my life that way, it's second nature. Hopefully we are instilling that value in our children.”
“I’ve seen and met angels wearing the disguise of ordinary people living ordinary lives.” – Tracy Chapman
Fred Raue, real estate appraiser
At 8:09 p.m. on Oct. 29, 2012, as Super Storm Sandy’s winds were battering West Milford, Fred Raue’s home was severely damaged by a falling 80-foot tall oak tree. The tree tore out of the ground and smashed through the roof, attic and ceiling of the home’s top floor center room, a home-office. Raue was in a room to the right of the office; his wife was in a room to the left of it.
After finding each other in the dark and being assured neither was injured, they went to the lower level. When a responding police officer suggested they vacate due to the questionable structural integrity of the home, they readily agreed and one of their daughters arranged for a hotel room for them in Mahwah. Getting there was another matter.
Many roads were blocked by downed trees and utility poles. They wound up on a devastated stretch of Macopin Road, driving across tree tops and mangled electrical wires until they made it to Hillcrest, the town’s emergency shelter. Lit up and with a welcoming staff on hand, the community center was truly a port in a storm.
From the time Raue’s neighbors stood in the storm calling out to check on them until they moved home again on March 2, 2013, the Raues experienced an extraordinary lesson in human kindness.
“We were thankful that we were alive and for the goodness of so many people,” Raue said.
One neighbor quickly arranged to have the tree lifted off the house. Emergency workers from town arrived within days to check the stability of the home and crawled under the rubble in a salvage attempt.
The Raues’ daughters, sons-in-law and grandson rallied around immediately and stayed by their side for the duration. On March 2, they arrived at the hotel to pack them up and bring them home, then spent the following months helping them make the house a home again.
Over the months of hotel exile, calls, cards and notes arrived with good wishes, gifts and offers of living quarters, office space and helping hands, often from totally unexpected sources. This past Christmas a small potted pine tree bearing a red velvet ribbon was left on the front stoop, delivered with the message, “This tree won’t hurt your home.” One more good deed to warm the heart.
“We will never forget the sound of that tree crashing through our house but we will also never forget the compassion that eased the road home,” Raue said.
Editor's note: Raue is the husband of Ginny Raue, the writer of this article