It’s been more than a year since New Jersey passed tough anti-bullying legislation. Yet bullying still exists. How can you make the law work for your child?
If you report bullying behavior, the first question the school will ask is, “Did you ask the other child to stop?” So that’s the first step. Ask the “bully” to stop.
A parent can call the other parent, but it’s best if the child does this. He could say, “Stop calling me — — — — . It hurts my feelings.” That’s it. Say it once. He’s been notified.
From here, there are three possible outcomes. The “bully” was joking and is upset to have hurt another child. He stops the behavior immediately. Great.
In the second case, the child is not so innocent, but he pretends to be. He is upset that he was caught and stops the bad behavior. Great. Problem solved.
In the third situation, the “bully” doesn’t care that the other child is hurt. That was his goal. He doesn’t change his behavior. This case needs to be reported to the school. The school can make the child change his behavior.
Some children don’t want to report bullying to the schools because they think that the situation will get worse. Sometimes it does get worse, but that doesn’t mean the system failed. The “bully” probably promised to stop the bad behavior. Notify the school of every incident that occurs after the child was told to stop. It is the school’s job to increase the punishment until the child stops the bad behavior.
Some people say, “Kids will be kids,” as if kids have a constitutional right to bully other kids. Nonsense. Bullying can be stopped. You just have to keep reporting it.
Barbara Carter
Hewitt